6 Titles to Skip, 6 to Savor | 2026 Spring Waffle Wrap-Up
So we've done a whole season of reviews now. One book waffle and one film waffle per week since the beginning of March. That makes 26 in total. Not bad at all.
As a fun way to end the season, I've compiled a list of the best and worst from this batch of waffles. I've included the links to the original review, so hopefully you can navigate around and explore some of my deeper dives if it suits your fancy.
Keep in mind that these are pieces of media that I reviewed from March to May 2026. It is not a reflection on any original release dates. That should be obvious with the dates and all, but I mention it just in case.
❌ Films to Skip
The Bridge of San Luis Rey (2004) directed by Mary McGuckian
An ancient bridge in colonial Peru collapses under the weight of a ramshackle story and five people's fat arses. This modern adaptation of Thornton Wilder's classic 1927 novel just can't seem to get its act together.You'd be forgiven for thinking it has a few tricks up its sleeve. What with its ambitious historical aesthetic and a star-studded cast that includes the likes of Kathy Bates, Robert De Niro, and Harvey Keitel, among others. But this is all window dressing. Instead, we're treated to a whole lot of dull characters doing dull things told in the dullest way imaginable.
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The Snowman (2017) directed by Tomas Alfredson
Harry Hole is not only something you see in the bedroom, but it is also something you find in Norway. Mr. Hole is your standard grumpy German detective working a murder case in ol' Norge. A considerably more noble goal than the one his German ancestors perpetrated in 1940, wouldn't you say?
Unfortunately, this hole is a real stinker. A confused plot. A bland villain. Uninspired performances. Bravo to the marketing team for spinning a web of BS and giving this film hype it didn't deserve. Something tells me they would do wonders in political advertising.
Ted Bunny (2026) directed by Michael Fredianelli
A serial killer's secret rape baby goes on a murder spree. An interesting concept to be sure. It's horror that practically writes itself. A creepy and cool bunny theme that borders on both cute and creepy: the ultimate conflicting emotions. And yet Ted Bunny seems to stumble at every hurdle.
Acting. Dialogue. Story. It's all so rough. Painfully rough. I really hate to bash a small team like this, but nothing in this film was working. If I'm laughing and cringing far more than being scared, something in your very serious horror film has gone wrong.
❌ Books to Skip
The Mist (1980) written by Stephen King
A clueless dad and his young son get trapped in a supermarket as a deadly mist overtakes their town. You'd think the man would show some concern for their dire situation. But no. He is more focused on cheating on his wife with some office girl he met five minutes ago than the safety of his son. Amazing model of parenthood right there.
Some horror classic this turned out to be. At least the mist makes for a creepy setting.
Also the 2007 movie adaptation was fun. It's one of those rare times where I would suggest watching the movie version and never reading the source material.
The Bridge of San Luis Rey (1927) written by Thornton Wilder
Hey. Look who is making a reappearance. In book form this time.
After a cadre of people in colonial Peru die in a bridge accident, holy man Brother Juniper sets out to find the cause or meaning or some shit I didn't really care.
You can fault the movie for a lot of things, but at least the tone is faithful to this original story. And that tone is boring. It's boring.
This literary classic is a masterclass in boring the reader with its painfully slow pace and disinterested prose. Nothing is happening. Nothing is going to happen. There's nothing here.
The Salt Grows Heavy (2023) written by Cassandra Khaw
A mermaid and a witch doctor frolic around an apocalyptic landscape. Sounds cool, right? I thought so too.
Unfortunately, The Salt Grows Heavy is suffering from a massive case of TikTok syndrome. The cover is sexy enough to pick up. Then you pry it open, and it has enough interesting bits to keep you hooked for a few minutes.
But very quickly you realize how shallow, lifeless, and pretentious it is. I hereby award it a special star for containing some of the worst prose I've ever read in a published piece of fiction.
( οΎ οΎο½°οΎ)οΎ ⭐
Keep your thesaurus handy, friends.
π½️ Films to Savor
The Hunger Games (2012) directed by Gary Ross
A young career criminal goes on a rampage, killing her fellow teenage peers in a televised duel to the death.
You've got action. You've got suspense. You've got heartbreak. You've got the beginnings of a god-awful romance plotline, but we ignore that for now.
I admit I'm an old Hunger Games fan, but this was a good effort remake that hit many of the beats it needed to hit. A great entry into the series for the uninitiated, and an acceptably good adaptation of the book.
Ring (1998) directed by Hideo Nakata
A working girl and single mother is reeled into a mysterious story of a rural Japanese family with psychic powers. At the heart of the investigation is a cursed videotape that seems to kill anyone a week after watching it.
This film's radical reinterpretation of the book's events was a big risk. But it's one that pays off in dividends and continues to pay off to this day. Without it, this franchise would not have grown into the modern horror titan that we know today.
Lake Mungo (2008) directed by Joel Anderson
A young Aussie girl in an unassuming Aussie town takes a dip in the local reservoir. One minute she's fine. Then boop. She's gone. Dead, actually. Authorities dredge up her body a few days later. What follows is a harrowing tale as the family peels away the events leading up to her death.
If this is an indie cult classic, then you can count me among its most fervent members. It's a horror masterpiece that explores grief and terror in ways I'd never seen before and never seen since.
π½️ Books to Savor
The Sun Also Rises (1926) written by Ernest Hemingway
Some American with a half-functioning dick is living his best life in Paris before getting friend-zoned by a freewheeling English rose. You'd best hope your liver is in working order because there's a hell of a lot of drinking to come in this hallmark of Lost Generation literature.
I want to say this was the most consequential book I've ever read. Not the best. The most consequential. The way the story is told. The bluntness. The sincerity. It's one of the most realistic and fascinating novels I've ever read. A systematic decoupling of early 1900s prose from its over-the-top and melodramatic past.
Ring (1991) written by Koji Suzuki
A group of teenagers suddenly drops dead, and an arsehole reporter and his rapist buddy are on the case!
We've got another double-dipper in this wrap-up, ladies and gents. And here Japanese fiction really rears its crazy head. The late Koji Suzuki does not hold back, and the viewers of any of the more popular movie adaptations might be surprised by just how Japanese this piece of Japanese media is. It's a considerably messier and crazier ride, but a fun one all its own.
The Hunger Games (2008) written by Suzanne Collins
Gasp! Are we ending with another repeat appearance? Yes, my friends, we are.
A cynical teenage poacher who doesn't realize her best friend is lusting after her pulls a #IVolunteerAsTribute long before the meme was created.
While the movie gives a good overview, to really experience the cruelty of the world that Suzanne Collins envisioned, you need to start right here. The book brings the terrifying reality of Panem to life. It's a world of slaves and slavers. Of oppressor and oppressed. Of circumstances forging a hero who rejects the role.
This is book that made me fall in love with reading, and I think it still holds up as a fantastic read.
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