Wafflings of a Cozmonaught

Rift  (2017) directed by Erlingur Thoroddsen Hah! You thought I was dead and buried after not publishing for a few weeks, didn't you? Well, not so fast buckaroo. I'm here! And I'm...! Well. You know the rest. Let's hit it. I have very mixed feelings about Euro cinema. On the one hand, I appreciate the experimental nature. Europeans are much more likely to be ambiguous and subtle. To play with the surreal and mess with your mind.             Probably has something to do with them not getting that Hollywood money; instead, they often get support from government culture departments. It's a practice that cultivates a unique atmosphere of creativity. One m ore artsy and less flashy compared to American cinema.  However, the line between avant-garde and artsy fartsy is notoriously slim. And, while some European media walk this tightrope well, the vast majority do not. Take today's movie from jolly ol' Iceland, Rift .  Or, as I've taken to call...

P.S. I Spook You  (2017) written by S.E. Harmon It's strange that 90% of M/M romance isn't targeted at gay men like me. That's kinda bizarre, right? Not hating on it. Just something I've always found to be weird. We follow some chap named Rain Christiansen. The dude is a do-gooding FBI detective who sees ghosts. Naturally, he gets chewed out by his boss one day for creeping on some grieving family and telling them that their daughter is in a better place.  As punishment, his boss tells him to GTFO and solve a cold case somewhere in the country. And, for some reason known only to God, the man chooses a case from his hometown.  You know. The town where his annoying family and hunky police detective ex live. Amazing decision. A true glutton for punishment. I could tell this wasn't written by a man in the first few pages. The first paragraphs, in fact.  The book begins with multiple long-winded descriptions of characters' appearances.  Massive red flag.  "Oh b...

Hypochondriac  (2022) directed by Addison Heimann Gay men and daddy issues. Name a more iconic duo.  Uniquely,  Hypochondriac brings home the mommy issues for the main course.  Truly breaking the mold. We love equality in this house. Quick Summary It's been 18 years since Will's mommy dearest attempted to choke him to death during one of her psychotic episodes, yet the dude's  Oedipus complex is still firing on all cylinders. Now a fully-fledged adult and gay twink living on the Golden Coast, Will works as a potter. He's got a nice life. A nice boyfriend who lives in a suspiciously spacious and lavish house given the cost-of-living crisis. A nice friend who lets the dude and his bf stay in her family's sick mountain lodge for free. But the past still haunts our protaga-twink. When his mother begins reaching out after her stint in a mental hospital, the painful memories of his childhood begin to resurface. Story & Characters There's a surprising amount of th...

Don't Let the Forest In (2024)  written by C.G. Drews "It hadn’t hurt, the day he had cut out his own heart … No one would want a heart like his. But he’d still cut it out and given it away." Okay, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Calm the Wattpad angst. Sand the edginess. Please and thank you. Reminds me of the slop I would write while bored in my freshman physics class. Andrew Perrault is a gawky gay boy and high school senior with the musculature of a plastic straw. He's got a crush on local bad boy Thomas, who may or may not have murdered his parents.  Inexplicably, "monsters" begin emerging from the woods outside their school. Monsters that bear a striking resemblance to Andrew's drawings that he presumably doodled in between sketching this fucker for the 100th time: WHERE IS THE "S" MONSTER, ANDREW!? This book is so bad. You know how women can often tell when a bad heroine wasn't written by a woman? That was this book for me. ...

Hellbent (2004) directed by Paul Etheredge-Ouzts As a gay kid growing up and loving horror, people recommended Hellbent to me a lot. "Have you seen Hellbent ? I bet you'd love it!" "You need to watch Hellbent if you haven't. It's really good!" "If you love horror and slashers, you need to watch Hellbent !" I sat down at the beginning of the pandemic and ran through a good dozen or so gay films. Chief among them was this movie that had been recommended to me oh so often. Imagine my shock when I saw it and thought,  "Wow. This is absolutely terrible." But, hey. Could be that I was busy being a contrarian back then. I was young and full of life. Naive and all that jazz.  Even though Covid screwed up my sense of time, it has been more than five years since then. Perhaps I've grown. Seen the light. And now I fully appreciate the greatness that I once denied. Or maybe not. "It's Halloween." - Chaz Quick Summary Eddie is a...