Wafflings of a Cozmonaught

P.S. I Spook You  (2017) written by S.E. Harmon It's strange that 90% of M/M romance isn't targeted at gay men like me. That's kinda bizarre, right? Not hating on it. Just something I've always found to be weird. We follow some chap named Rain Christiansen. The dude is a do-gooding FBI detective who sees ghosts. Naturally, he gets chewed out by his boss one day for creeping on some grieving family and telling them that their daughter is in a better place.  As punishment, his boss tells him to GTFO and solve a cold case somewhere in the country. And, for some reason known only to God, the man chooses a case from his hometown.  You know. The town where his annoying family and hunky police detective ex live. Amazing decision. A true glutton for punishment. I could tell this wasn't written by a man in the first few pages. The first paragraphs, in fact.  The book begins with multiple long-winded descriptions of characters' appearances.  Massive red flag.  "Oh b...

Hypochondriac  (2022) directed by Addison Heimann Gay men and daddy issues. Name a more iconic duo.  Uniquely,  Hypochondriac brings home the mommy issues for the main course.  Truly breaking the mold. We love equality in this house. Quick Summary It's been 18 years since Will's mommy dearest attempted to choke him to death during one of her psychotic episodes, yet the dude's  Oedipus complex is still firing on all cylinders. Now a fully-fledged adult and gay twink living on the Golden Coast, Will works as a potter. He's got a nice life. A nice boyfriend who lives in a suspiciously spacious and lavish house given the cost-of-living crisis. A nice friend who lets the dude and his bf stay in her family's sick mountain lodge for free. But the past still haunts our protaga-twink. When his mother begins reaching out after her stint in a mental hospital, the painful memories of his childhood begin to resurface. Story & Characters There's a surprising amount of th...

Don't Let the Forest In (2024)  written by C.G. Drews "It hadn’t hurt, the day he had cut out his own heart … No one would want a heart like his. But he’d still cut it out and given it away." Okay, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Calm the Wattpad angst. Sand the edginess. Please and thank you. Reminds me of the slop I would write while bored in my freshman physics class. Andrew Perrault is a gawky gay boy and high school senior with the musculature of a plastic straw. He's got a crush on local bad boy Thomas, who may or may not have murdered his parents.  Inexplicably, "monsters" begin emerging from the woods outside their school. Monsters that bear a striking resemblance to Andrew's drawings that he presumably doodled in between sketching this fucker for the 100th time: WHERE IS THE "S" MONSTER, ANDREW!? This book is so bad. You know how women can often tell when a bad heroine wasn't written by a woman? That was this book for me. ...

Hellbent (2004) directed by Paul Etheredge-Ouzts As a gay kid growing up and loving horror, people recommended Hellbent to me a lot. "Have you seen Hellbent ? I bet you'd love it!" "You need to watch Hellbent if you haven't. It's really good!" "If you love horror and slashers, you need to watch Hellbent !" I sat down at the beginning of the pandemic and ran through a good dozen or so gay films. Chief among them was this movie that had been recommended to me oh so often. Imagine my shock when I saw it and thought,  "Wow. This is absolutely terrible." But, hey. Could be that I was busy being a contrarian back then. I was young and full of life. Naive and all that jazz.  Even though Covid screwed up my sense of time, it has been more than five years since then. Perhaps I've grown. Seen the light. And now I fully appreciate the greatness that I once denied. Or maybe not. "It's Halloween." - Chaz Quick Summary Eddie is a...

So we've done a whole season of reviews now. One book waffle and one film waffle per week since the beginning of March. That makes 26 in total. Not bad at all.  As a fun way to end the season, I've compiled a list of the best and worst from this batch of waffles. I've included the links to the original review, so hopefully you can navigate around and explore some of my deeper dives if it suits your fancy. Keep in mind that these are pieces of media that I reviewed from March to May 2026. It is not a reflection on any original release dates. That should be obvious with the dates and all, but I mention it just in case. ❌ Films to Skip The Bridge of San Luis Rey   (2004) directed by Mary McGuckian An ancient bridge in colonial Peru collapses under the weight of a   ramshackle story and  five people's fat arses. This modern adaptation of Thornton Wilder's classic 1927 novel just can't seem to get its act together.  You'd be forgiven for thinking it has a few tri...

Maybe—Tomorrow (1952)  written by Jay Little It's that month. Yeah. You know what it is. Love it. Hate it. I don't need to say it.  So I thought for this June I'd run through some gay-related media in the hopes of finding something good. Because there's an awful lot of garbage out there. Speaking of which... Maybe—Tomorrow follows the story of Gaylord Le Claire. No, I'm not joking. Gaylord is a high school student who just doesn't fit in. Why? Because he's a pretty gay femboy, of course! Nominative determinism at its finest right there. Thanks Mom and Dad. Gaylord Le Claire has one particular crush, though. The kid is lusting after a masculine, rugged classmate named Robert Blake. We experience this pining through Gaylord's eyes. His internal and external struggles. His repeated wish to be a girl, and how that would have made his life oh so much simpler. For a zoomer like me, this is the prehistoric version of gay Wattpad smut. Apparently it's also...