Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) Review - Pottermore GO! | Movie Waffle

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) directed by David Yates -

Ah yes, Pokemon GO: Harry Potter Edition. In the spirit of it being a decade since the last HP movie, I thought I would finally sit down and watch the next entries in whatever they are calling this series now.


FBaWtFT follows Newt, a well-meaning if awkward British magic chap, as he arrives in America from Equatorial Guinea. An odd claim considering Equatorial Guinea didn’t exist yet, but let’s ignore that. Along the way he must catch a number of beasties and fight a magical conspiracy.


I went into this film with tempered expectations, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad. Not mediocre. Bad. Surprisingly enough, I enjoyed the film much more when it was—you know—actually being Harry Potter instead of Narnia or Pokemon. Why are all the characters so insufferable? So unrelatable? The dialogue, the characterization, the writing, the grand setpieces: it all leaves a lot to be desired.


The most surreal moment in the last minutes has to be when a supposedly main character asks “Why did you keep me around?” to the rest of the cast. Bollocks, mate, how should I know? You didn't do anything for the entire movie! It almost felt like an existential, fourth-wall-breaking cry for help from the mouth of Rowling's creation. Sorry, no freedom sock this time.


Is this a real movie? Or is this a fanfiction parody? Because despite the ~200mil budget and overuse of CGI, it sure feels like it. I can only hope the next one is better.

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