In the Tall Grass (2019) Review - Anti-Kansan Propaganda | Movie Waffle

In the Tall Grass (2019) directed by Vincenzo Natali -

Anti-Kansan propaganda on my Netflix!

Jokes aside, I quite like simple horror. Minimalist, even. Probably why I'm such a sucker for found footage films; the camera work automatically draws in the audience so that the plot can really emphasize the spookiness of a situation. My point being that I enjoy the way a writer/director's vision can more easily be communicated if there isn't a bunch of pretentious tosh getting in the way.


ItTG follows twins Beck and Cal as they drive cross-country. In the middle of some non-descript square state, the duo are lured into a grassy field by calls for help. Soon they discover that they cannot escape, and that they must put faith in their sharp wits and ironclad familial bond to survive.


Are you reading this imdb? Can I be a synopsis writer now?


Time loops. Now that's a horror concept I haven't seen in a while. Could have done without the crappy CGI nightmares and cult/religious undertones that pop in-and-out like me running to the bathroom when I try eating more fiber. Same with the spooky cell phone calls—I thought I was watching "In the Tall Grass" not another let's play of "Sara is Missing".


Also poor Patrick Wilson. Always being forced into these crazy stepdouche-esque roles. What did he do to deserve being the bad guy in so many movies? He isn't even British!


In conclusion, ItTG is a nice concept that tries a little too hard to make itself "one of the big guys". This leads to a feeling that ItTG is constantly fighting against its setting—not knowing where or how to commit itself. The movie's charm—like Beck's copy of "Jane Eyre"—is ephemeral: sometimes it's in frame, and other times the production crew f'ed up and forgot about it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Straight from the Waffle Iron

Unfriended (2014) Review - Internet Culture With Some Horror On the Side | Movie Waffle

Image
Unfriended (2014) directed by Levan Gabriadze - - Watching other people use a desktop has never been a more painful experience. I've never taken an interest in these types of "computer screen" movies—where the audience is just watching someone's monitor as they slowly inch their cursor around the screen with a touchpad like a prehistoric caveman. I half expected an "Unregistered Hypercam 2" watermark on the top left. Even so, I do think it is an interesting approach to explore; one that seems very much like a logical extension of the "Paranormal Activity" security cam trend. Not a big surprise considering that Blumhouse produced both this franchise and that one. Unfriended follows a group of friends that previously bullied a young highschool girl into committing suicide. On the anniversary of her death, the group decide it's in great taste to have a Skype chat about how said girl sucked. The child-like action of going "Look mom, I know tha...
Read more

🟨 Ice Spiders (2007) Review - Surfer Skater Skier Dudes | Film Waffle

Image
  Ice Spiders (2007) directed by Tibor Takács Ah, the Sci-Fi Channel Original movie. These low-budget romps were truly a thing of beauty long before the likes of Sharknado captured the imagination of basic AF plebeians. And one of these beautiful works of art sticks with me the most. Ice Spiders directed by Tibor Takács. You see, I was deathly afraid of spiders as a kid in the 2000s. Still kinda am. But something about the Sci-Fi Channel's teasers compelled me to watch it when I was still that young, sweet, and innocent arachnophobic boy. Ice Spiders was not the first horror movie I saw. That honor goes to Halloween II . However, this film wasn't far behind. You always remember your first, of course. But what about your second? For me, that answer was a definite YES. I could not believe the gore.  "Can they do that? Can they show all the blood and guts and carnage being ripped out of a guy and slurped down like a Shamrock Shake from Mickey D's on television?" I ...
Read more

Last Night in Soho (2021) Review - London Jogger Simulator | Movie Waffle

Image
Last Night in Soho (2021) - directed by Edgar Wright Man, I was really hyped for this thing when the trailer first dropped last year. A real classic ghost story with the typical surrealist craziness that European cinema is known for. Instead what I got for most of the film is QWOP in London. LNiS follows one Ellie Turner, who moves to the Swinging City to pursue her fashion dreams. In doing so, she is able to escape her hick village in Cornwall and the ghost of her mum which apparently didn't have quite enough quid for the fare. Rapid inflation is really taking a toll on the deceased too, it would seem. While adjusting to her new home, our heroine receives visions of the past and revels in living in the life of a 1960's Londonite. This movie was a particularly frustrating one because I can see the potential at the heart of this film; its trailer made most horror fans start drooling for a reason. But the chasey sequences are too long, the relationships too shallow, and overall d...
Read more

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) Review - I'm Just Saying, Sometimes It Takes a Cat | Movie Waffle

Image
  Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) directed by Joel Crawford - Not gonna lie, if I saw someone in a fursuit charging me with a pair of sickles, I would shit myself so fast. Sorry—kid’s movie and all—I meant to say “crap myself”. Because “crap” is now something we say in kids animation, apparently. We also show blood from wounds. That’s cool, I guess; just feel like I missed the memo telling kid’s animation to be edgy again. PB&J is about the eponymous character who, being on his last of nine lives, searches for a wishing star that will give him some 1-Up mushrooms. Along the way he meets an old friend, makes a new one, and antagonizes some porridge and pie baddies. Meanwhile, a sussy furry cosplaying in a black hoodie stalks him on his journey. I’ll be honest, I only watched this movie because of the memes. And, oh boy, did the meme lords come through for me. The characters in this movie are awesome. The voice acting is superb. And the animation is gorgeous, likely due to t...
Read more

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) Review - Pottermore GO! | Movie Waffle

Image
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) directed by David Yates - Ah yes, Pokemon GO: Harry Potter Edition. In the spirit of it being a decade since the last HP movie, I thought I would finally sit down and watch the next entries in whatever they are calling this series now. FBaWtFT follows Newt, a well-meaning if awkward British magic chap, as he arrives in America from Equatorial Guinea. An odd claim considering Equatorial Guinea didn’t exist yet, but let’s ignore that. Along the way he must catch a number of beasties and fight a magical conspiracy. I went into this film with tempered expectations, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad. Not mediocre. Bad. Surprisingly enough, I enjoyed the film much more when it was—you know—actually being Harry Potter instead of Narnia or Pokemon. Why are all the characters so insufferable? So unrelatable? The dialogue, the characterization, the writing, the grand setpieces: it all leaves a lot to be desired. The most surreal moment in the l...
Read more

🟥 Ted Bunny (2026) Review - Even Serial Killers Live With Their Parents in 2026 | Film Waffle

Image
Ted Bunny   (2008) directed by Michael Fredianelli Hmm. Well that certainly was something. Here I was hoping for a Five Nights at Freddy's prequel, and this is what I get. Not a story about William and Michael Afton but one about Ted Bundy and his "spawn". Bro. Quick Summary Ted Bunny follows the story of Sasha, an aspiring documentary filmmaker who has yet to break into the industry. Girl, you and me both. Her latest attempt at forging said career takes her to the house of Catherine Something-or-Other. Catherine claims to be one of the last survivors of Ted Bundy's 1970s killing spree.  In fact, Catherine goes all Rosemary's Baby on us and claims that she birthed Ted Bundy's demon spawn after he sexually assaulted her all those years ago.  Whatever the case, her child is now a bunny hood wearing maniac channeling in his inner Majora's Mask Twitch streamer and speedrunning a murder spree of his own. All righty. That's quite the setup. And, in fact, I...
Read more

🟩 Orbiting Jupiter (2015) Review - Avoiding a Car Crash | Book Waffle

Image
Orbiting Jupiter   (2015) written by Gary D. Schmidt An absolutely heart-wrenching story that didn't stick the landing. We follow Jack. Generic hippy boy in his middle school years that has been raised by his now crusty anti-Vietnam War activist parents on an organic farm with all the soy and good energies his fat face can handle. But one day, Jack's parents take their savoir complex to the next level by offering to foster a 14-year-old prick-to-be named Joseph.  As luck would have it, ol' Joseph's got a bit of a rap sheet. These include getting blazed on a unique mixture of amphetamines and ritalin and trying to kill one of his former teachers. Also he's a baby daddy. Oof. Boy's speed running all the bad decisions in life. I don't condone it. But I respect it. What follows is all the struggles you would expect after inviting a teen edgelord to your local Greenpeace meeting.  And the result is so damn good. The conversations Joseph has with his adopted famil...
Read more

28 Days Later (2002) Review - A Godless Guide to Avoiding the Rapture | Movie Waffle

Image
28 Days Later (2002) directed by Danny Boyle - Let this movie be a warning to all good Evangelicals out there: if your head gets bashed in on the day of the Rapture you can kiss your dreams of paradise goodbye because apparently God discriminates against the comatose. My goodness British horror plays with themes of isolation and loneliness a lot. 28 Days Later centers around Mr. Irish generic man who wakes up from a coma buck naked some [insert movie title here] to find the populace of London has vanished. Luckily for our protagonist, as he bumbles about the haunting landscapes of landmarks he realizes that he didn’t miss the Rapture. Instead a UK rabies virus has turned everyone into raging zombies. You know: as it do.  It’s a perfectly well-made film, even if it doesn’t bring anything noteworthy to the table. It’s your typical “Monsters are bad, but humans are the real monsters” affair. Still the plot is coherent, and there exists a dash of chaotic and surreal energy that is com...
Read more